Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize