the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
