Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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