Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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