You just made me feel so damn special
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
