i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
