What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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