five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
