Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
