I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
