It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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