he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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