I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
