margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
