No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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