wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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