i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Found your dick twin last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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