Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
