i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
