i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ladies don't puke and tell
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
