he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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