you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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