Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
