So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
