Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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