No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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