she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
