So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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