He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
