Got a toothbrush?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
