Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
