You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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