Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
