margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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