xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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