You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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