shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
