i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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