I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
