Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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