I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
