I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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