Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
