were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
