College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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