dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
