My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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