He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
