she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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