I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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