Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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