It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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