I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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