whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
