Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
