i jhust puked up my retainher.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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