He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Welp...herpes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
