who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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