I skipped work to stalk him.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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