I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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