It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
